While my toes are lingering in the lake, skin is basking in the sun, and children are building sand castle upon sand castle, I have a sweet guest poster coming in to talk about friendship. I’ll be back later this week with updates from our vacation so far. For now, read these convicting words about what being a TRUE FRIEND really means.
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Thanks Rebecca for allowing me to share a bit with the Better Life Community! I’m Virginia and write about my not-so-perfect journey of faith, family and home at Geeky & Sassy. I’m currently writing a series about what I’m learning through friendship in my 30s.
I’m not writing this Friendship Series because I am the perfect friend. Quite the contrary. I’m praying that God makes me into a good friend. A friend that doesn’t “love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth.” – I John 3:18
Get over yourself. I need to tell myself this every once in awhile. When I have hurt feelings from a friendship or wonder why I’m the one that is “always giving”, God whispers to me. Think beyond yourself. It’s not all about you. This life is about ME. My heart for My people. Let me speak the words of affirmation you need. Let Me give you your self worth. Let Me give you rest. Just come to Me.
How often I ignore God’s Words. I move through my days hurt by others around me that are “supposed” to know exactly how I feel or what words I need. I may not recognize that they may be needing a friend at the moment too. I’m blinded by my own wants.
When we focus on God we begin to look beyond ourselves.
When my day begins with God, I go to Him in moments of joy and anxiety. I can see Him changing my heart and friendships. Instead of sadness I can be filled with God’s joy and see other’s needs. God changes my selfish, pity-full heart. I’m no longer a toddler whining to get her way, but transformed by the God of the Universe.
No longer do I want that new shirt. I would rather make a meal for a friend’s family. No longer do I want someone to listen to me, but I want to be listening ears for another. Greater Love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. - John 15:13 NIV
We can be down at moments and our friends can encourage us by listening and sitting with us. Crying. Not offering solutions, but allowing us to sit.
I’m going to be honest…..I have a hard time when people send me Bible verses when I just need to cry. There are times when I need an encouraging word, and other times that I need to just sit. I’m trying to be more aware of these situations with friends.
The only way I can know is if I’m truly listening with my heart. Not letting my mind wander to come up with the perfect words to say. Truly listening with my heart and praying that God will give me the words. At this moment that it’s no longer about me and my abilities and all about God.
True friendships aren’t one-sided. This is the beauty of true friendships: Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! - Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NIV
What are some simple ways that we can serve others in our friendships?
I hope you’ll stop by and check out the rest of the series!
~Virginia
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I think sometimes friends can just be good listeners. Not give advise, not compare with what you’ve been through-just listen.
Yes! I think this week this has been more evident than ever!
You’re so lovely. I wish we were real life friends.
You are just too sweet =) Excited to have you a part of the G&S community!
Love your series on friendship! I too need to say “get over yourself”. I was so hurt by a friends remarks a couple of weeks ago. I’ve been re-playing her comment in my mind and I need to remember that when I love the unlovely I’m showing Christ. Sometimes our friends are hard to love and we truly need to just get over it!
So true! It is so difficult to do and it’s only possible with Jesus. I can harbor hurt for weeks if left on my own.